(*As always…names have been changed to protect identity blah blah blah)
And yes, that’s me in the featured picture 🙃
Before we even begin, you have to understand where I am coming from…
I believe in Black love. I have always been surrounded by it, I marvel it, I want to embody it. There is something about loving someone’s brown skin and having someone to relate to unconditionally.
But for whatever reason, lately I’ve been finding myself involved with Black men who have only dated white women before. No big deal (at first), but then comes the questions:
“Why do you wear that bonnet/scarf to sleep?” “Yes, your hair looks good…how did they put the weave in?” “What’s that spray bottle for? Are you about to clean something?…oh, it’s for your hair?”
Seriously Black men…I know y’all have a momma, sister, or auntie, that y’all saw do these things while you were growing up. Don’t let play stupid now because you went from a Jessie to a Jaquaysha.
ugh. And usually, right after we date, they go right back to white women. Whoops. (Sorry, not sorry)
Anyways, since all my ex’s were riding the Becky train, I figured, ehhh, why not see what happens next time a white guy shot his shot with me. It happens often, but the approach is usually off…
Attention white men, Black women do not like to be approached with “hello my beautiful African, mocha, coffee-colored Black Queen” Please, shooters shoot, but shoot without mentioning skin color. I just put you on game for free – JayMo, 5:55
So after ending my situationship , I got back on my bullshit and re-entered the (not so) magical world of Tinder.
My Tinder bio was bomb af too:
Because I’m tired of getting involved with these coon cornballs, so I had to let it be known what I was about from the start!
The SuperLikes started to roll in immediately. To MY surprise…all from white guys. But, they were either:
- not cute
- vegan (sorry mom)
Then, along came Dan* with the SuperLike. Bio stated that he was a ‘future lawyer, committed to combating social injustices”. Hmm. Swiped through some pictures. He was kinda of cute. He had a genuine, friendly smile, strawberry blonde/red hair, and wore bow-ties…but he wasn’t really MY type of white boy, but I thought to myself…YOLO!
I swiped right and duh, because he SuperLiked me, it was a match.
He immediately wrote me:
“Let me substitute that cup of tea for a cup of coffee and you have a date.”
Oh. I like him already.
We chatted it up for a bit on Tinder Messages before I slid my number to him. We texted and set up a date to talk about saving the world at a coffee shop.
The day of the date came and we had made plans to meet up after work. A few hours before we were schedule to meet up, he hit me with the “I’m bogged down at the office…would you hate me if we rescheduled?” text. Honestly, I was kind of relieved…so of course I told him yes we could. He kept the convo going, telling me about his day, what was going on at work, chatting about our hometowns, etc. The texts were flowing so freely and we were enjoying the conversation so much, I kept thinking to myself “He must not know that this is me, *the Black girl*, he’s talking to right now…maybe he’s confused and think I’m someone else from Tinder.” Then he hit me with this:
We decided to meet up for Happy Hour instead of tea/coffee at a coffee shop. As usual, I was nervous about meeting a TinderDude for the first time, but this time it was different. I was about to go out with a WHITE GUY for the first time. Yeah, I have white friends and I’ve been out with white guy friends on a one to one basis, but never have I ever been on a WHOLE ASS DATE with a white guy. I got stares before just when I was hanging out with my white guy friends…how would people look at us once they realize this is a potential romantic situation?!
But I sucked it up because haters are going to hate anyway.
We got drinks, dranks, and more drinks. We sat chatting away about racism, politics, Donald Trump, abortions, the Black Lives Matter movement, white people, Black people, our parents, tv shows, books, movies….EVERYTHING. We had similar views and sat chatting like we just didn’t meet for the first time.
Before we knew it, we had been sitting outside kicking back Russian Mules for two and a half hours. We moved on to a hookah bar where he taught me how to smoke hookah and we had a few glasses of wine before sharing a sweet goodnight kiss.
We went on a second date that went extremely well too, but I figured we would work better as friends. So we keep in touch every now and again.
After my two dates with Dan, I dove straight back into my #BlackBoyJoy pool. I like the feeling of relating with just a look when white people are yt-peopling or when someone is out there cooning. And, if you’re bae and if I get mad at you, I have to be able to call you a name we don’t want white people to say -shrugs- (I’M JUST BEING HONEST)
But who knows, maybe I’ll give interracial dating another try to expand my culture horizons.
What’s the best or worst part about interracial dating? would you give it a try?
Have a Spooky Halloween!